I Don't Think There's Any Point In Waiting Around...Apple Roller 2025

 The winner can be only one man.  So many Apple Rollers Of The Year seem unaware of what they've accomplished, but you can't say that about this guy.  HE PUTS IT RIGHT ON THE TABLE:

I just LOOK OUT THE WINDOW at all the craziness going on out there right now -- masked Cossacks dragging citizens off the streets and sending them to internment camps without due process; nationwide gerrymandering and undermining of voting rights to ensure that even if there are only 3 right-wing voters in the whole state, theirs are the only votes counted; pardons handed out like Halloween candy to the treasonous bastidges who attacked the nation's Capitol on January 6th...and I see this guy chuckling to himself.

We had some close runners-up, but this guy wins again.

Sigh!