Chaos At A High-Water Mark As I Write This

A FEW CORONAVIRUS HIGHLIGHTS:

>> Riots and property destruction in Britain over a wild rumor that 5G internet systems are responsible for the virus!

>> The widespread belief that an Asian of any description is more contagious -- just because she's Asian -- than someone who's been to New York City lately!

>> An even wilder rumor that African-Americans can't catch the virus so they don't need to take any precautions!  Because African countries aren't reporting any Covid-19 cases!  Because they don't have the systems in place to do a headcount and find out!

>> A couple killing themselves accidentally by eating an algae remover intended for fishtanks, thinking it was the same stuff as an anti-malarial drug that is supposed to cure the virus!  A virus they didn't even have!  

>> POTUS 45 generating -- as usual -- MORE MISINFORMATION THAN ANYONE ELSE, saying that this is just a new strain of the flu and that the flu vaccine will prevent Covid-19! 

>> 45 also started the dumb rumor about the anti-malarial drug, as it happens.  Naturally, it came out later that he was in talks with the company that makes it so he could invest heavily in their stocks, leaving it an OPEN QUESTION whether he personally believed that the stuff was useful and worth investing in, or if he just wanted to MAKE A KILLING by manipulating the stock market.  I use the phrase "MAKE A KILLING" advisedly.)

>> A REALLY funny one about how Corona beer causes the Coronavirus, leading to scenes like this in your local grocery store:

>> Plus the usual nonsense about how the Chinese whipped this virus up deliberately as a BIOLOGICAL WEAPON, ignoring the small detail that for at least a solid month, THE ONLY VICTIMS OF THE CORONAVIRUS WERE CHINESE.

>> A supplementary, follow-up conspiracy theory stating that the Coronavirus was created in a Chinese lab AS A REPLACEMENT FOR THE FAILED ONE-CHILD RULE.

>> The one about how eating bats caused the virus to emerge.

>> The people drinking all the booze they can get -- or methylated spirits -- or rubbing alcohol -- because they  heard it kills the germs.  I want an accounting after this is over of how many people were THAT stupid.

>> The one about how pizza delivery guys are ESSENTIAL WORKERS who need to be able to keep their jobs even though large segments of the workforce are shutting down to prevent contagion.

>> The one about how the company that makes Lysol is IN ON IT. 

>> The one about how toilet paper is all made in China, or maybe the cardboard roll inside the spool of paper,  and WE NEED TO BUY EVERY ROLL BEFORE CHINA SHUTS DOWN FOREVER.  The footage I'm seeing of the panic buying of TP, reminiscent of YOUR FAVORITE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE MOVIE, is not a terribly inspiring example of how to practice keeping a safe distance from people who may be carrying the virus.

>> The one about how eating pangolins caused the virus to emerge. 

>> The one about how growing your beard out will protect you better than any germproof mask.

I can't kid you: I'm loving this.