Sunday, April 01, 2007

Whoo-Hoo! Eris Ephemeris Available Already!

Here I thought we’d have to wait YEARS for an ephemeris of the newly-named Kuiper Belt Object or Dwarf Planet, Eris. But one appeared in the April/May Mountain Astrologer, and special thanks to the clipping service for rushing this to me just in time for April 1st. No gift could possibly be more appropriate for April Fools’ Day. Now I can track the physical movements of the Cosmic Wild Card in my own, or anyone else’s life.

The article, "Eris Stirs Up Trouble" by Zane B. Stein, on page 25 of the April/May issue, is full of delightful tidbits. For one thing, the Zanester competely upended my dismay at the original nickname for the KBO, "Xena." All he had to do was remind me that the flying rock’s namesake, "Xena The Warrior Princess," was played by Lucy Lawless, delightfully appropriate in itself. He went on to point out that Eris has a satellite soon to be named after one of her daughters, Dysnomia, or Lawlessness. And it’s not just the last name that resonates here. Lucy, quite a rare name these days, means "light." So her name translates as Light Of Lawlessness, or something like that. That reminds me immediately of the Discordian motto, "ILLUMINATE THE OPPOSITION."

Funny how these things work out, isn’t it?

It turns out that Eris has, by far, the most eccentric orbit of anything yet found in the solar system. Go figure! Now, this object wanders far out past Pluto, so as you might expect it passes through the signs VERY slowly. Eris entered Aries in 1928. It is still right there. A full orbit of Eris through all the signs takes 556.7 years. So find the house ruled by Aries in your astrological chart. There you will find the area in your life where Eris sent the Green Bay Packers to kick your ass until you let go of your most cherished beliefs and desires.

I was thrilled to see the author make a connection between Eris and Persephone. (They originally wanted to name this KBO Persephone, but the name had already been taken by an asteroid.) My troubled relationship with pomegranates is a long, sad story beyond the scope of this blog, but SUFFICE TO SAY I have long suspected that the connection between these two goddesses might apply to others, not just me.

Don’t even get me STARTED on Stein’s feeling that Eris may be a co-ruler of Libra. That’s only MY Sun sign. It would sure explain why Taurus, ruled by Venus, craves only peace and order, while Libra, supposedly also ruled by Venus, seeks controversy for its own sweet sake. In college I learned the trick of using the word "abortion" in any sentence during class, then sitting back and TASTING THE DISCORD as – usually within 5 minutes – everyone in the room would wind up screaming at each other. This would not be amusing to my Taurus parents. They would probably flee the room. As a Libra, I live for this stuff.

The usual misunderstandings about the nature of Chaos obtain in this article. Two pages in the author describes Eris as the Goddess of Warfare. Oh, puh-LEEZE. Both the Greeks and the Romans had a more than adequate War God covering that department. These astrologers and mythology specialists, being mere humans themselves, forget that it’s the humans who bring on the wars with their constant need to be RIGHT and be IN CONTROL. Eris merely attempts to redress the imbalances she sees by inserting a different point of view, usually something along the lines of "You think you’re in control, buddy? Try THIS on for size." And then she throws, not a hand grenade, but an apple. It’s the resulting bullshit human power struggle over that apple that brings on the warfare, not Eris herself. BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS A BITE.

I probably don't need to explain that to anyone likely to read this site, but hey, who ever passes up an opportunity to get preachy?


Blogger Merricat said...

Well, this explains a lot about the Libras I know, that's for sure.

4:47 AM  

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