Saturday, September 17, 2011

Is It Just Me?

...Or are these two guys REALLY HARD TO TELL APART?

I mean, they're supposed to be bitterly pitted against each other in the 2012 presidential race, but whether you're looking at a photo or an editorial cartoon, MITT ROMNEY AND RICK PERRY ARE AS ALIKE AS TWEEDLEDEE AND TWEEDLEDUM.

My suggestion is this: they should TEAM UP and become running mates. I see a number of advantages to this approach. They supposedly agree on very little, but no matter whose platform you support you are bound to get SOMETHING you want out of the deal. I hardly need to point out the advantages of being able to swap places at speech time, or when there's a boring funeral of a foreign dignitary to attend when only the wrong one is free to go and the other has something else that can't be missed, like a really important round of DISC GOLF.

And, above all, there's the SAFETY factor. I picture the next Jared Loughner's or Squeaky Fromme's forehead puckering in confusion. "Dude, which one of them do I aim at?" Of course, that could TOTALLY BACKFIRE. The VP, seething with fury at having to be SECOND BANANA, could ice the President and take his place with NOBODY THE WISER.

I HARDLY NEED TO POINT OUT that this strategy could work out just as well for red-blazered lookalikes Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann. OR JUST AS BADLY. Hey, the only way to tell them apart is to get them to PARTIALLY DISROBE so we can read their Underoos. (Hint: Palin's shows ALL the Founding Fathers; Bachmann's has John Wayne Gacy.)

We could also do-si-do AGAIN and have Romney run with Bachmann, Perry with Palin, and REALLY have some fun. The possibilities for role-swapping, intramural political sabotage and outright ASSASSINATION fairly boggle my mind.


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