Friday, April 03, 2009

Apples! Eeeeeeeeeek!

I found this slice of a movie review on another site, posted by someone I know only as The Mud Puppy. I have his or her permission to post it here. Here's my review of this unseen film: When you start from the Discordian perspective of seeing apples as a symbol of change and Chaos, and you bear in mind that Chaos is many people's worst fear, this story actually could be scary to someone, somewhere. Maybe it scared the pants off its intended Hindi audience. It just goes to show you that my worst fear -- not apples -- is quite likely to be a minor giggle to you.

I rented this [Darna Mana Hai] from Netflix expecting it to essentially be a Bollywood horror/slasher film. I was mistaken. It was a Hindi slasher/horror film, true, but I would not call it a Bollywood film as there was not a single musical number. Oh, and it was also dreadful.

[Cliffie's note: right here I trimmed out the other horror vignettes reviewed in the complete post. They have nothing to do with THE HORROR OF APPLES.]

Story 4. This is the dumbest of the lot, and the fact that I actually predicted exactly where it was going made me cackle with disbelieving glee. A housewife buys apples from a creepy street vendor who sells them at an unbelievably cheap price. For some reason she gets creeped out later and throws the apples away, but then *gasp* the apples reappear in her fridge! EEEK! APPLES! Then her husband eats one of the apples! EEK! The next morning she discovers that her husband has turned into an APPLE! EEK! And then she sees everyone on the street eating one! And then, the entire street is nothing but APPLES! APPLES! EEK! And then the street vendor appears, to offer her the last apple, free of charge. EEK!

I should note that at no point was there any indication that this story wasn't intended to be completely serious.

CLICK HERE to see the apple segment of this film in all its unparalleled horror.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home