This Week's Staggering Discordian Moment

If the first responders in this photo are looking a bit stymied, hey, I CAN RELATE.
It can't be every day, EVEN IN ZANY-ASS SCANDINAVIA, that a common citizen of the realm can come home to find a DRUNKEN MOOSE dangling from the neighbor's apple tree. The news stories I've seen do not relate if there were any witnesses to the disaster, to explain HOW THE FUNK THIS EVEN HAPPENED.

They also do not answer the burning question on MY mind: WHAT COLOR WERE THE APPLES ON THAT TREE? We can see a few scattered on the ground in this photo. There are two red ones...and two golden ones. I'm trying not to jump to any conclusions here. (If I did, I might get stuck in a tree myself.)