A Message Direct From Discordia!

 OK, this was an AN ODDLY DIRECT communique from the Great Old Chaos.  Wednesday the 6th of January, 2021, I called someone on the phone in the middle of the workday and she informed me that she was watching a CIVIL WAR starting, LIVE ON THE NEWS.  That was how I learned about the MOB SCENE at the Capitol Building that left a number of people dead, including a police officer wasted by the mob, some of whom were waving Blue Lives Matter flags.  One of these angry voters was using a flagpole, with the U.S. flag on it, to beat the dying man over the head. 

Kind of discordant!  

So, the next day was one of my rare, precious days at the office, and when I walked into my cubicle I saw something I'd NEVER SEEN BEFORE:

MY BASKET OF GOLDEN APPLES HAD SPILLED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!

In all the years I've had this job the basket, intended to focus me on SPIRITUAL ESSENTIALS through the day, has stayed put.  It's not in an unstable position, or easy to hit with your elbow or anything.  Other items have certainly been disarranged,  IF NOT ACTUALLY BROKEN, by inconsiderate klutzes WHO SHALL BE NAMELESS.

But my Apples of Chaos have always been safe and secure.

WHY NOW?  WHO ROLLED MY APPLES EVERY WHICHAWAY?

Apparently it was this dipshit again:

He's the one who actually ORDERED the match on the Capitol Building at what Team Trump called the Stop The Steal rally.  In case you've been living on Mars or in a coma the entire previous year, LET ME EXPLAIN that he's been complaining daily about how he's positive the election was STOLEN from him -- after doing everything he could to steal it from the real winner, including whipping his voters into a frenzy that led directly to the assault on the Capitol.  

I JUST WANT TO ADD that this is a PERFECT RE-ENACTMENT of the scenario laid out in your copy of the Principia Discordia, found under "The Doctrine Of the Original Snub."  President 45 felt SNUBBED and he rolled a WHOLE BASKET OF GOLDEN APPLES RIGHT INTO THE CAPITOL BUILDING. There were a few differences, of course; instead of a WAR breaking out over who got to keep the apple, we had blood in the Capitol hallways, voters getting MACED IN THE FACE and -- if what I read is correct -- rioters shitting into their hands and painting the walls of the building with their feces.  Classy.

It all remains to be seen just where all this craziness will lead, but guess who got impeached again today?

It's a NEW RECORD.  He got impeached twice in the same term in office.  MOVE OVER, DICK NIXON!!!

And with all that said, I'd like to VERY nervously thank the Great Goddess Chaos for the personal note in the form of my OWN basket of scattered apples.  I'm not sure whether to take a bow or run for my life...