Quote Of The Day

Seriously, the world is getting stranger by the day. It's pretty neat.

(HE, Who Must Not Be Named)

An Election-Day Omen

OK, I was out for a walk a few days before election day -- and I saw something near the town hall that I've never seen before. The oppressively prim garden behind the local Chamber of Commerce was shutting itself down for the fall, and one of the Crabapple trees was loaded down with big, sumptuous, golden Crabapples. The branches were fairly groaning with them. I filled my kangaroo pocket with them and took them home to put on the scanner, which of course is refusing to work right now. I can only think that on the eve on the most highly-contested presidential election yet, this says SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN. Looking at the two presidential candidates, and the galloping fears about what might happen (presidential assassination! the National Guard shooting at dissidents from helicopters! Sly Stone becomes Speaker of the House!) if either Tweedledee or Tweedledum gets in, I have to say it's going to be the most interesting ride we've had in a long, long time.

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Of course, Crabs are another symbol of transformation. They shed their skins, eat them, and thereby become new & improved Crabs. They also use the gross, rotten stuff that washes up on the beach and turn that into new, baby Crabs. So a Golden Crab Apple has powerful mojo indeed.

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I was astonished to see a proposal on the ballot to legalize medical marijuana. I thought it had already been laughed off the ballot because of the blistering concern that it would be too confusing for the police. I've never smoked dope in my life, but I think you know how I voted on THAT.

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I'm quite worried about what will become of David Letterman. Both candidates seem perfectly capable of forming sentences. What will Letterman's writers do without George W. Bush providing the nightly installment of "Great Moments In Presidential Speechmaking"?