Thursday, June 21, 2018

Discordian Saint Goes To The Great Wherever



The disaster I've been waiting for all these years has finally happened.  Koko, the gorilla who redrew all the boundaries between humans and other species by learning American Sign Language, has died in her sleep.  She essentially devoted her entire life to SCREWING WITH EVERYTHING HUMANS THOUGHT THEY KNEW. 
 
Sleep well in the Great Wherever with all the kittens you've loved and lost, Koko, starting with Barney Google and going all the way down the line.
 
I am going to miss you so much!
 
Spare a thought today for Penny Patterson, who must be utterly devastated by the loss of her lifelong co-researcher.

Koko's life was essentially prophesied in the Sacred Writ, Illuminatus!, when a gorilla confided to a human that they'd been able to speak all along but hid it from humanity "because if they found out they'd kill most of us off, then put the survivors to work operating machine lathes.  Who the hell wants to operate a machine lathe?"

(I'm obviously paraphrasing.  I don't have the book at hand to quote from accurately.  That's the gist of what he said.)