Sunday, December 20, 2015

Jeb Bush's Thoughts on The Donald

Jeb Bush -- who has somehow emerged as the 'VOICE OF REASON' presidental candidate for the GOP, which might tend to explain why he's trailing so badly in the polls -- was recently quoted in the papers as saying "Donald is great at the one-liners, but he's a Chaos candidate.  And he'd be a Chaos president."

IS THIS TRUE?  Trump's entire goal in running for president is to shake things up; I agree most people would see that as Chaotic, even beneficially or creatively Chaotic.

But when you listen to him talk, you realize that he imagines that the tasks in front of the POTUS are very simple:

  • He thinks we can build a Great Wall of Texas to keep out the Mexicans, at Mexico's expense.
  • He thinks that he can keep out anyone else he doesn't like the looks of.  Especially those who had the foresight to cover their chrome domes with turbans instead of the dead weasel Donald wears on his head.
  • He thinks that if the radicalization of Islamic hotheads DOES turns out to be an Internet phenomenon -- as in, DUH -- he can simply shut down the Internet. (Did nobody tell him that only Al Gore can do that?  Did nobody tell him that Al Gore is an unbiddable Democrat?)
  • He thinks that he, a congenital multi-grillionaire whose idea of being homeless is the same as thinking those people are somehow paying with credit cards to sleep at the Ramada Inn, can rearrange the country's finances to everyone's benefit.
That sounds like he is Order-minded to me, and not in a very clear-thinking way, either.

Here's the guy I think of when I think of Trump.  A tidy, fussy, ORDERLY little man who created the most orderly way of destroying people by the million ever seen on this earth.  I know I'm not the only one who sees the comparison: 

They even have similar hair don'ts!

Triumph! Doctors In The USA Are Winning The War On Pain!


The Washington Post reported recently that in the year 2014, deaths due to overdose on prescription painkillers went up just over 16%, with a total of 18,893 funerals for the year.  Heroin overdose deaths rose a staggering 28% last year, but still reached a total of only 10,574 funerals.  If it's a contest -- as hard as the heroin addicts are trying to catch up -- the prescription drugs are winning easily.

According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine, in 2012, 259 million prescriptions were written for opioid drugs in this country -- enough so that every adult in America could have a bottle.  Two people die every hour from those prescriptions. 

From 1999 to 2002, deaths from using illegal opioids rose 12.4%; in the same time span, deaths from the clean, legal pharmaceutical stuff rose 91.2%.  Wow!

I know what you're asking: that's still a terrifying number of heroin addicts.  Isn't heroin well known to be a deadly drug that nobody should ever, ever touch?  Because it kills you!!!  Why, then, are so many people using the stuff?  Here's why:  doctors will only prescribe opioids for so long, because of the addictive potential. USUALLY. 

PLEASE NOTE:  That doesn't mean they explain that danger to their patients.  They're likely to feed the poor sucker a lot of disinformation: "You can't get addicted if you're really in pain."  (Never mind that opioids lower your pain threshold, creating more pain than you had before you started taking them.)   "I can tell you're not an addictive personality, so you're in no danger."  (Never mind that the very nature of opioids creates tolerance, then dependency, and start doing this as soon as you start taking them.  Never mind that some people simply react very powerfully, in a purely physical way, to the stuff and can't help getting addicted regardless of what kind of personality they have.)   "I'm supervising your treatment, and I'll know if you're in danger of getting addicted."  (Never mind that a lot of MDs wouldn't know an addict if  they got bitten by one.)  "This is the safest, optimal treatment for your pain condition, so you NEED to take this kind of painkiller."  (Never mind that there are plenty of effective, less-addictive or non-addictive alternatives out there.)

But finally, enough is enough, right?  And once they cut you off, hey, what are you going to do?  Detox?  Hell no!  Drive downtown and get some of the easy-to find Mexican "black tar" available for a few bucks on every streetcorner.  This is exactly what your kids have to do after they run out of the unused opioids you left in the medicine cabinet.  If you don't get wise, before you know it you'll be carpooling down there with half the neighborhood.


Well, people decided at some point that they had a RIGHT to be pain-free at all times.  They decided that pain creates CHAOS in their lives and they want pain-free ORDER.  The doctors -- frighteningly -- AGREED, maybe because they are sick of dealing with people complaining about how much pain they're in.  Or maybe they really believe pain is intolerable.  So the doctors started handing out renewable prescriptions of what they seem to see as little oval doses of ORDER.  For ANYTHING.  Whether the stuff helps the patient with a health problem or NOT.
But remember, gentle reader, that Order can be as destructive as it can be creative.  THE SAME IS TRUE FOR CHAOS.  And as we ALL know, Chaos and Order blend into each other, like interpenetrating GHOSTS.  So do creation and destruction.  Trying to separate them into boxes is pretty much crazymaking.


Riddle me this: Is it an image of Chaos or Order?

  • A medical doctor would probably say, "It depends on what's in the needle."
  • An addict would say, "it depends on whether or not I get to have what's in that needle."
  • An anti-vaxxer would simply tuck tail and run with a screaming child clutched under each arm.
Me, I see the ORDERLY progression of addiction caused by the DISORDERLY dispensing of addictive drugs.
I am challenging my readers to think it through a little better than that following this familiar diagram from the Principia Discordia:

I'm also challenging people who were smart enough to get all the way through med school to stop being so fucking stupid. 

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Now Here's One Thing Muslim Terrorists HAVE Accomplished!

Other than just get their names in the paper, I mean.  Islamic terrorists have, jointly and severally, co-created the campaign platform of THE MOST UN-AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE SINCE JEFF DAVIS.  While he hasn't come out in favor of re-establishing slavery...yet...the Donald OWNS the American bigot vote and he's targeting Muslims right now for exclusion the way he was targeting Mexicans for deportation just a few weeks ago.

It strikes me that saying "the American bigot vote" is sort of like saying "the French Kraft Singles vote."  Am I wrong?  Isn't bigotry supposed to be UN-American?  As un-American as Kraft Singles are against EVERYTHING the French stand for, ONLY MORE SO?  Aren't we  Americans supposed to welcome everyone fleeing poverty, oppression, horrible living conditions and intolerance of all kinds?  Weren't the Pilgrims kicked out of England for their religious views?  Weren't they welcomed by the Indian tribes who taught them how to survive in the New World?  (That was the biggest mistake THEY ever made, but that's beyond the scope of this post.)

I just want to point out that in the state where I live, the first most common language is English.  The second is Iraqi.  We have Arabs and Muslims of all kinds here -- Saudis, Jordanians, Yemenis, Turks, Indonesians, you name it -- and here's the thing:  none of these people are throwing any bombs.  They're running companies, going to jobs, raising families and MINDING THEIR BUSINESS the way good Americans do.  If they're new in this country, so what?  So were my dad's grandparents, members of the most despised ethnic group of their own generation -- the despicable Irish.  Who are pretty accepted now, funnily enough.  Americans got used to them and they quickly started to FIT IN.

Terrorists are the EXCEPTION, Donald.  There are a few hotheaded fanatics in ANY religion and ANY political party -- hotheaded fanatics like YOU, Donald! -- but the rest of them are just ordinary folks. 

I'm just afraid Election Day next year is going to have the next Jefferson Davis taken as a serious presidential candidate.  How did we come to this?

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Tips For Those Who Need A Remedial Course In The Sowing of Discord

I just want to draw attention to the golden apples that seem to be on EVERYONE's LIPS lately:  terrorist activity.  Terrorists are really screwing up these days and I feel the need to point out HOW.  Some people are clearly not getting how it needs to work.

A good terrorist makes a POINT of some sort with a terrorist act.  Everyone seems to be forgetting this lately.  Let's start with the terrorist tag team of Malik and Farook:


What did these two accomplish by opening fire on a staff Christmas party?  They devastated quite a few families -- I include their own families -- and they orphaned their daughter.  What else did they prove here?  Anything? 

Next, my very favorite failed terrorist, the Underwear Bomber:

Same question.  What were you trying to prove by setting your pants on fire over Detroit Metro Airport, Mr. Abdulmutallab?  What was the point?  If you HAD blown up the whole plane, then what would we have learned?   
Let us not forget Da Bruddahs:
What exactly are you saying when you blow up the people running past the finish line at the Boston Marathon?  Do you hate the city of Boston?  Do you hate marathon runners?  Was it the crowd clogging the sidewalks that chapped your asses?  What was this even about?  If this is an act of Islamic fury, tell me -- what does blowing off so many people's legs have to do with global jihad?
Ah, and then there's this guy:
While Major Hasan has focused all manner of shrink-bashing humor at himself, he made NO POINT AT ALL when he opened fire on a waiting room full of unarmed patients at Fort Hood.  The one thing I know he achieved -- almost certainly by accident -- is that he woke up the debate about allowing weapons onto military bases.  THAT MIGHT NOT WORK OUT IN THE TERRORISTS' FAVOR, NIDAL.
I should remember to point out each of these terrorist cells has very impressively deepened America's suspicion about Muslims, including Americans -- and it was already deep enough to sink New York City without a trace.  If that was the goal, GOOD JOB!  But could that possibly have been the goal?  I thought the original meaning of "global jihad" was converting everyone, globally, to Islam.  THIS METHOD IS UNLIKELY TO WORK.  What they've done here is sow a tremendous amount of discord that landed DIRECTLY ON THEIR FACES.  Not least this guy's face:
But let's not limit ourselves to people who think blowing people away in the name of Islam makes sense.  What about this guy?

Glenn Cross at least had the presence of mind to yell "Heil Hitler!" as he was being taken away in cuffs after shooting 3 people at Jewish community centers.  We know what his goals were.  But while he clearly raised anxiety, I'm far from sure he's terrorized most people, even most Jews.  These days, Glennster, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BODY COUNT.  And yours doesn't really rate no matter how many candles your critics light to the memory of Martin Bormann.  You're going to be seen for all time as an unbalanced loser.  WHICH IS ALL YOU ARE.

Now, none of THESE guys looks unbalanced:


These guys have all killed people who do a certain specific type of women-only elective surgery.  Why?  To prove that killing people is wrong.  No mixed message there! 

You'd never know it by looking at the headlines, but MOST OF THE TERRORIST ACTIVITY IN THE COUNTRY is committed by rabid Christians like these -- not just abortion-doctor-hating types, either.  I know what you're thinking -- who knew?  Don't you have to wear a turban to be a terrorist?  Well, no.  Remember this guy?

America's BEST-LOVED TERRORIST is as Christian as they come.  A hardcore Bible-thumper.  In fact, his followers think he's Jesus Christ, and that his trial for the Tate-LaBianca murders was his second crucifixion.  (And when he was tried and convicted of killing Shorty Shea a few years later, did they call that his third crucifixion?)  Now, Charlie's message was a little hard to follow, but basically, he wanted to terrorize the Los Angeles basin because they never made him a  music star.  OK, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.  The whole industry was completely terrorized and has never been the same since.  He targeted the house where Terry Melcher used to live because Melcher, a music producer, was the one who listened to his work and decided not to do anything with it.  THAT part is crystal clear.  The stuff about the Beatles being the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, well, we have to remember MANSON'S CRAZY.  But I do want to point out that even this ambulatory schizophrenic sent a clearer message with his group's terrorist acts than the Tsarnaev brothers, who supposedly were right as rain mentally on the day they bombed the Boston Marathon.
So here's my advice:
  • Think it through first.  Who are you trying to terrorize?  How?  Why?
  • Who or what would make an understandable target to get your message across?  If you're angry at the commercial fishing industry, it makes no sense to blow up a kindergarten in Utah.  THERE ARE NO FISH IN SALT LAKE.
  • If you're a religious terrorist, ask yourself whether the tenets of your religion genuinely support this sort of activity.  Talk it over with your religious leader.  NOT one who hides in his basement drooling on himself and muttering about how they're all out to get him.  Talk to one who's making sense.
  •  Weapons check!  Do you have the know-how, the financial backing, the ordnance, the plan, the skill to make a terrorist attack come off properly?  Most people don't.  See Glenn Cross, above.  DON'T wind up like the Underwear Bomber, for pity's sake.  That guy is going to be the transcendental Platonic ideal of embarrassing flops for the rest of his miserable life.  AND HE WAS TRAINED BY AL-QAEDA !
  • Leave your calling card!  Even if you have no meaningful message connected to your bizarre acts, you at least want credit for all those flat tires, screaming babies and smashed store windows.  If you do have a political agenda or some other message you want to impart, heck, LEAVE A NOTE OR SOMETHING.
Now, if your only goal on earth is to spread terror, even just for its own sake, without rhyme or reason, YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.