The Irony!

It finally came out that one of the protestors killed in the January 6th riot at the Capitol Building, Rosanne Boyland, didn't precisely die of a "medical emergency" as originally stated in the news.  She was simply TRAMPLED TO DEATH by the mob, who used her as a JUNGLE GYM as they tried to kill a few more Capitol police officers.  There's some more footage, this time from a police bodycam -- if you can stand to see even more of the day's mayhem -- that shows her on the ground, intermittently visible in front of the line of officers being jolted over and over by the rioters trying to get past them and into the building.  Intermittently she's covered, and clearly being stomped, by the onrushing mob.

The irony here is that she showed up that day carrying one of these:

A Message Direct From Discordia!

 OK, this was an AN ODDLY DIRECT communique from the Great Old Chaos.  Wednesday the 6th of January, 2021, I called someone on the phone in the middle of the workday and she informed me that she was watching a CIVIL WAR starting, LIVE ON THE NEWS.  That was how I learned about the MOB SCENE at the Capitol Building that left a number of people dead, including a police officer wasted by the mob, some of whom were waving Blue Lives Matter flags.  One of these angry voters was using a flagpole, with the U.S. flag on it, to beat the dying man over the head. 

Kind of discordant!  

So, the next day was one of my rare, precious days at the office, and when I walked into my cubicle I saw something I'd NEVER SEEN BEFORE:

MY BASKET OF GOLDEN APPLES HAD SPILLED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!

In all the years I've had this job the basket, intended to focus me on SPIRITUAL ESSENTIALS through the day, has stayed put.  It's not in an unstable position, or easy to hit with your elbow or anything.  Other items have certainly been disarranged,  IF NOT ACTUALLY BROKEN, by inconsiderate klutzes WHO SHALL BE NAMELESS.

But my Apples of Chaos have always been safe and secure.

WHY NOW?  WHO ROLLED MY APPLES EVERY WHICHAWAY?

Apparently it was this dipshit again:

He's the one who actually ORDERED the match on the Capitol Building at what Team Trump called the Stop The Steal rally.  In case you've been living on Mars or in a coma the entire previous year, LET ME EXPLAIN that he's been complaining daily about how he's positive the election was STOLEN from him -- after doing everything he could to steal it from the real winner, including whipping his voters into a frenzy that led directly to the assault on the Capitol.  

I JUST WANT TO ADD that this is a PERFECT RE-ENACTMENT of the scenario laid out in your copy of the Principia Discordia, found under "The Doctrine Of the Original Snub."  President 45 felt SNUBBED and he rolled a WHOLE BASKET OF GOLDEN APPLES RIGHT INTO THE CAPITOL BUILDING. There were a few differences, of course; instead of a WAR breaking out over who got to keep the apple, we had blood in the Capitol hallways, voters getting MACED IN THE FACE and -- if what I read is correct -- rioters shitting into their hands and painting the walls of the building with their feces.  Classy.

It all remains to be seen just where all this craziness will lead, but guess who got impeached again today?

It's a NEW RECORD.  He got impeached twice in the same term in office.  MOVE OVER, DICK NIXON!!!

And with all that said, I'd like to VERY nervously thank the Great Goddess Chaos for the personal note in the form of my OWN basket of scattered apples.  I'm not sure whether to take a bow or run for my life...

And The Apple Roller Of the Year For 2020 Is...

 YEAH, YOU GUESSED IT:

I JUST COULDN'T KID MYSELF ANY LONGER.

Here are A FEW HIGHLIGHTS of Trump's really outstanding performance this year at GENERATING CHAOS.  An EXHAUSTIVE LIST would be FLAT IMPOSSIBLE but here are just a few tidbits:

>> He put his foot down about the new economic stimulus package for Covid relief, demanding that somebody come up with a plan that will extend unemployment benefits nicely AND pay the struggling American worker $2,000 instead of the paltry sum the warring factions in Congress were able to agree on.  He also complained that there was far too much PORK in the bill -- another apple of confusion right there, because since when does Trump have a problem with pork-barrel politics? When Congress scrambled to do just what he asked and presented him with a new bill in RECORD TIME, he WENT GOLFING without signing it into law for a week or so, leaving average Americans worried sick that their household finances were going to CAVE IN COMPLETELY as soon as the holidays were over.  Ho-ho-ho, everybody!  Merrrrrrrry Christmas!

>> In a bit of standard Trump doubletalk, he refused for MONTHS to encourage or model the wearing of germproof masks or in any other way treat the pandemic seriously, appearing in public surrounded by supporters who were generally standing MUCH TOO CLOSE to him.  He went so far as to call the pandemic a HOAX.  Unfortunately, not everyone in the USA has TAKEN A RIDE ON THE CLUE BUS yet and BELIEVES EVERY WORD HE SAYS.  These people did not appear to notice that when The Donald was inevitably diagnosed with the dread virus, HE WAS IMMEDIATELY BUNDLED OFF TO ONE OF THE BEST HOSPITALS IN THE COUNTRY, AND GIVEN EXPENSIVE MEDICINES YOU AND I HAVE NO ACCESS TO.  He then got better.  Got better from what, you ask?  Was he sick with a hoax, then?  Did he need treatment for a nonexistent illness with a medicine (remdesivir) that costs over $3,100 for the full 5-day course of treatment?  HIS BELIEVERS DIDN'T CARE.  

>> While still actively spreading the coronavirus, Trump announced that his handpicked candidate for the Supreme Court had been approved to step into the robes of office, at an event now known as the Rose Garden Massacre because so many unmasked people were sitting there cheek-by-jowl drinking in every word he said. Mind you, MOST OF THESE PEOPLE WERE HIS SUPPORTERS.  Quite a few keeled over with the virus in short order.  He didn't even apologize, naturally.  The Donald never does.  I just really liked this one because if the weirdo cultist he chose for the job, Amy Coney Barrett, had gotten sick and died, well..?

>> Even after he finally acknowledged that there is such a thing as Covid-19, Trump continued to use it as a way to SOW DISCORD and talk down anyone who took it seriously and, as usual, piss off other countries.  let's bot forget the day he called the pandemic the "kung flu."  I am normally the LAST PERSON ON EARTH to complain when someone is SOWING DISCORD, but here?  Now?  Like this?  When mutual cooperation is the best route to ENDING THIS MISHEGOSS?  There's a time for CHAOS and there's a time for ORDER.  Maybe get back to destructive, hateful apple rolling AFTER all those millions of people are back at work, the kids are back at school and there are no longer so many refrigerated trucks needed to store the plague victims.  

>> In the last year, meanwhile, novel coronavirus cases have risen in this country from a starting count of ZERO to over TWENTY AND A HALF MILLION as I write this on New Year's day.  About 3% of those people have died:  355,918.  AND COUNTING.  He isn't even interested!

>> He continues to claim that he WON this year's election, in the teeth of the evidence, and is holding up any sort of serious business with nuisance lawsuits, recounts, and general bullshit that -- again -- would just be entertaining if there weren't MILLIONS of people out of work, waiting for their unemployment benefits to cut off so they can step bravely into Evictageddon.

>> Meanwhile, he is busily pardoning his cronies for the crimes they committed in support of his own criminal career, with zero concern for whether they are guilty -- in some cases even though they PLEADED guilty.

>> And, um, this:

>> But here's my personal favorite, because at least this time he didn't kill anyone: he chose a very special candidate to take a seat on the board of the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.  The wife of his political crony, Mitch McConnell, who may know less about the performing arts than a hog knows about mutual funds, but her name!  Her name!  Her name is Elaine Chao.  She has the name of the unsacred symbol of  our non-prophet disorganization:

AND THIS WAS RIGHT WHERE I CAVED AND SAID, OK DONNY:  YOU WIN.