Check This Out!!!

 If you click here you may still be able to obtain one of these:  https://glitzring.com/products/snow-white-apple-ring

It's called a Snow White Poison Apple ring on the sales site but -- very significant to Erisians eveywhere -- it's also described as a "Fairest One" apple.  

If it had KALLISTI printed across it I wouldn't even mind that it's RED instead of pure GOLD.

This might OUT a person at a job interview or something but it's perfect for religious rituals...

If you can't make it out the apple is also a LOCKET for carrying a dose of poison, but as a staunch, observant Discordian you might load it up with something more entertaining, like EX-LAX.

Doubleheader!!!

 

Well, the other shoe finally dropped for the 45th American president as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called for a long-awaited IMPREACHMENT INQUIRY.  The allegations are that Big Orange tried to convince the Volodymyr Zelensky,the Ukrainian President, to find some kind of dirt on Trump's main opponent in the 2020 presidential race, Joe Biden.  If this sounds kind of Watergatey to you, THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT.  Nixon got in hot water for trying to steal election strategies from the Democratic National Convention back in the day.  And this happened even before investigators appear to have read all the way through Count Trumpula's TAX RETURNS, finally subpoenaed just days ago after something like a 3-year wait.

 

ON THE SAME DAY Pelosi made her announcement, the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom found that the British Donald Trump, Prime Minister Boris Johnson, ACTED ILLEGALLY by trying to shut down Parliament for 5 weeks so he could push through his own Brexit plans without having to run the same gamut faced by his predecessor, Theresa May.  I heard Parliament's House Speaker thundering on the radio about the likelihood that a Vote of No Confidence -- the British equivalent of IMPEACHMENT -- might not be far behind.

 

THIS IS A GREAT DAY, CHAOS FANS!!!

And While We're Talking About Christmas Tree Ornaments...

 

GET A LOAD OF THIS!  Not only good for the holiday season, this baby can be hung up from the mantel or plonked on your desk ANY DAY OF THE YEAR to remind you of the all-seeing Eye of the Bavarian Illuminati.

 

I LOVE IT.

A Pre-Christmas Thought

I saw on someone else's computer screen today that the original idea for having round glass globes on people's Christmas trees was about the apples on the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden.

 

HOW COOL IS THAT?

Get Me To The Church On Time!

I saw this marquee as I was driving past a church...You know the kind that lets you rearrange the letters to give the message of the week?  It was one of those.  This one said,

 

SMILE

 

IT CONFUSES PEOPLE

 

OK, great; that's a tactic I've used with great success myself. 

 

(It's especially disconcerting when you beam adoringly at a recess-yard bully when he's trying to get you to cry.  That's your tip for the day.  It's only hard to do this the first time; from there it gets easier and easier.)

 

But I'm struggling to imagine what scenario the people who run this church had in mind when they put up that sign.  Who are they trying to confuse?  More to the point, who is it they want ME to try to confuse?  And why?

 

Maybe it doesn't matter.  Getting out there and confusing people is ALWAYS good advice.

Keep it up, kid!  I think it's starting to work on her!